Back to Reality

Back to reality is how today felt. I didn't feel sick. I had energy. The sun was shining.
I just felt
CRANKY.

ANGRY.

SAD.

PUT-OUT.

TRAMPLED UPON.

DISCOURAGED.

MAD.

UNFAIRLY DEALT WITH.

DID i SAY ANGRY?

CHEATED!

YES, THAT'S IT, cheated! I feel cheated in so many ways. Forget for a moment my journey home from the hospital. Today that doesn't much matter to me. Today I feel cheated and I DO want to crawl into bed. I want to lay in the sun by a pool where the temps are warmer than 55. I want to run around the neighborhood and not feel winded and have a sore lung. I want to be able to clean the house well enough that my husband doesn't feel the need to do it for me. (though I know I must not feel cheated to be married to a man who isn't afraid of housework). Honey, really....thank you!

Cheated I say! What a rotten feeling. It has the ability to ruin a completely beautiful, otherwise enjoyable day.

It sucks that I have to make changes (well I don't HAVE to), to my diet because I am sick, not just because I want and need to lose a few pounds.
Oh that I could rewind the calendar to a day when ALL I need to do was lose a few lbs. Would I change my diet for that knowing what I know now? Maybe....yes. I hope. lol

Funny story I have to put in to freshen up my mood a bit.


Yesterday I was driving and Damon and I were talking. I was telling him sorry for feeling sick so much, but that I actually was going to be sick forever just that some days I wouldn't feel so sick. He said, "yes that is why you keep going to the doctor to get medicine for your sick germs." I replied, "that's right sweetie. I need the medicine so I won't feel sick all the time." Damon returns, "Mom, I have a good idea...we should put a blueberry in your body!" " A blueberry?" I ask. "Yes, mom, blueberries kills germs, and we should put a big one in your body!" he informed me.

Oh how I wish a big fat blueberry would do the trick. I would eat a big one every hour! Those are easy to eat, they are sweet and juicy.

So, my reality today....cranky, cheated, bored, plain old angry. But we are having company for dinner. The Elders are coming and I invited a few other friends to join us for salmon and rice, pie, and salad. And we are going to fire up the fire pit in the backyard and make s'mores. Those are my fave!!!! It relaxes me to make and eat s'mores. Since the sun is out we have to take advantage.
I hope you enjoy your evening, and find "s'mores" on your cranky days.
love,
Dani