Me and My Family

Me and My Family

27 May, 2011

A Few of my Favorite things.

Even though the bike isn't mine it's one of my favorite things because it gives Damon and I a little more freedom for the summer. He can ride alongside me now while I ride my bike. Or it can encourage me to walk faster in order to keep up with him. It's also one of my favorite things because I love knowing how proud he is of himself for being able to ride a big boy bike now. He had a "push"bike , or "balance bike" for over a year and it is because of this he was able to learn to ride this bike his first time out on the street.
I saw this little flowering plant at Home Depot last week and HAD to have it. Well, probably didn't, but I bought it anyway. I love pretty flowers in the front yard. and I loved the bright blue against the white of these. It's called, "lithodora; blue star" or Lithodora diffusa. I may end up buying a few more if there is a  good Memorial Day sale going on. This weekend we are picking up a truckload of blended soil, compost for my gardening boxes. I am so looking forward to experimenting with my garden. I have never done a garden before so it should be interesting.
Summer fun! Running through the sprinkler in the summer sun is so much fun. I remember doing just that when I was a kid. There is nothing like a sunny day in the summer in Alaska. It's not too hot (though I know a few who would argue with me on that one.) and it's not chilly. It's just right. Not humid, and as long as there isn't wind, it's great weather for playing in the water, or walking, hiking, biking, fishing...whatever your outdoor fancy is. In some places it's just TOO hot to even be outside!

Here is Damon on his new bike, before he peddled it on the street he took it for a few spins down the hill in our backyard. He was cruzin'. He had the balance part down to a T. We have had a string of beautiful days with nice temps and sunshine and limited wind/breeze. Because of this we have been spending a lot of time outside. It's a far cry from last winter when we spent most days inside waiting for the temps to rise and the wind to die down. Winters in Alaska are definitely hard, I'm not gonna lie, I'm actually starting to dread them, but there is nothing I have experienced yet that can outdo a nice sunny summer day in Alaska, spent with your kids, family, friends, or just a great book.

Kaili..................One of my First Favorite things!!!! Who ever could have guessed I would have been so in love? When I was pregnant with this precious girl I never DREAMED she would bring so much joy to my life. I never imagined I would love being her mom so much. I never dared hope we would have so many adventures together. And I never believed I could accomplish so much with her, for her, because of her.

And now she is grown...
So beautiful!

And here is Handsome! I never thought I would get the opportunity to raise another child (and a boy at that). What a dream come true. And what a challenge. A wonderful, smart, goofy, silly, helpful, loving challenge.
My John....I cannot say enough about how much of a support he has been to me through everything. Even before my diagnosis! And expecially since my diagnosis. He has taken wonderful care of me and our son. There have been times he has had to take full responsibility for Damon and the dogs, and the household chores. And then provide me with support all while dealing with his own emotions and thoughts on my illness. I don't think  a lifetime of thank  you's can ever cover it.  I have no idea what he is feeling these days. He keeps a lot inside where people can't see it. He keeps himself busy when he isn't at work. We don't talk much about it, though I do wish we did sometimes. Then again, I don't want my cancer to be the only thing we talk about. I also don't want it to be in every conversation. I am more than my diagnosis, even if I will never feel like my "old self" again.
And then there is Murphy, that silly little Bearded Dragon. she isn't eating much, isn't growing, and I am worried about her. She is cute though. I took her outside with me yesterday to sit in the sun. There are two more members of our household, Ari and Lincoln, my dogs. I will have to play with them extra today to apologize for not putting them in this post. For now, I am off to walk, Damon is anxious to ride his new bike ...imagine that........ 

22 May, 2011

Looking back, moving forward....

Just had to go back in time a little bit....I'm pretty sure this was taken in Kodiak, though Damon looks so little to me. Awwwwh. My babies. My little Sweethearts. Two of my most prized possessions (don't chastise me for saying that, I know they aren't really my possessions...but hey come on). If I had to escape the house due to fire, these are two of my most prized "possessions" I would grab before leaving.

So sweet. To think I have been so blessed to be their mom...well it brings tears to my eyes if I think on it too hard.

Jumping forward now as I wipe the tears away....

I had another CT scan; between the end of March and this one there was very small growth on Two of the lesions in my lungs and all the rest are STABLE, meaning there was no growth.
Was is the diet?
 Are they just slow growing?
Was it all your prayers?
 Am I just lucky?

Personally I think it's the diet. And because I wasn't on it completely between these two scans it makes sense that there was "some" growth in (only) two of the lesions. I mean lets face it there are at least a dozen and probably more of them total. So the majority of them showed NO growth. That's pretty good.

Now I would say it's time to refocus our prayers. Mine are now plainly asking to be blessed for doing what is right by my body, by feeding it the way I should have been all along. To be blessed for taking the time and effort to make conscious choices about what I eat, how I exercise, or even if I exercise. To be blessed for making the right effort and making it with the best of intentions, and doing so day after day.

I want to be blessed for all the research I have done and will continue to do, for all the effort I put forth, for reading my scriptures, for saying my prayers, and for continuing to seek that which is good. I also want to bless others by serving when and where I am able in return for all the prayers that have been offered for me. Pay it Forward stuff. I love Pay it Forward.

I want to bless others as others have blessed me in amazing ways.

I ask now a special blessing on all of you, my readers, friends, family, that you might recieve anything you might stand in need of. Press on, Pay it Forward, have fun, and be kind to yourself.

Happy Spring!!!!

11 May, 2011

Slacking at it's finest

Oh..I have no new pictures to post because I haven't been using my camera since I returned from Texas well over a month ago now.
Slacker slacking! That's me! I'm good at it. Wish I could make money at it.
dishes are being washed but countertop is a mess. Laundry is washed, but not folder or put away. The living room is picked up but not vacuumed. Damons' train set is up, but he isn't running it.
I'm basically just writing right now to keep out of the kitchen....AGAIN. Yes...I need many things to keep me busy so I don't try grazing.

 It's beautiful outside except for a chilly wind. I should hardly be complaining about the wind since it isn't snowing, it's above freezing, and the sun is out.

It seems one thought doesn't connect to the next one in this post. Please bear/bare ?? with me. Maybe my next post should be pictures only!

What do you look forward to the most during summer?


09 May, 2011


So this past weekend was a little bit difficult. We went to a birthday party Saturday and there was (of course) cake and pizza...

I had a bite of Johns piece of pizza and I DID have a SMALL pc of cake. I was disappointed in myself later. After that I seemed to be craving snacks. I spent a lot of the weekend after that putsing around upstairs in the bedroom. Folding clothes, making the bed, playing with Damon in his room, reading, taking a nap. It's just easier that way...I am upstairs away from the kitchen.

As soon as I sit on the couch to watch TV with John I get the urge. I am sure you all know exactly whatI am talking about.

Isn't that the whole point of commercials? They have helped to train our brains to want food while watching TV. I am in the process...obviously I am not finished yet....of re training my brain to not feel the need for snacking while watching TV or while doing anything else either.

It's so engrained. Oh that looks good, I think I will taste it. Oh well everyone else is having it, I think I'll just try it. Well, it's a party....what the heck. It's a BBQ, I'll make it right tomorrow. on and on and on.

I can't afford to give in to those thoughts and excuses anyMORE. I am fighting for my LIFE. If I can give up sweets for my son while I was pregnant and had Gestational Diabetes, I think I can give up a bite of pizza, or a slice of cake for the sake of fighting for my life.

My life which will also be for my son's life and my husband, and my daughter. Saving mine will enable me to be here for all of them. So, I HAVE to get over these cravings, these excuses have to go. No more!

Just thought I would share the continuation of my transition and the challenges it presents.
May God Bless each of you!!!!

06 May, 2011

Putting it out there!

So, I have been thinking about this a lot, thought it was about time I wrote it down.

I'm not gonna lie, I think about food all the time!

There I said it..

I put it out there.

Now let me say a little more.

For YEARS I have had thoughts that I should change the way I eat, I should stop eating chocolate, I should eat less at each meal, I should not eat so much bread, butter, jelly, and cereal. I should cut back on sugar intake....yadda yadda, yadda! I said these things to myself EvErYday for YRS.

It never happened. I cut back sometimes and exercised more and could lose a little weightm but nothing major. The best I did was two winters ago in Kodiak when My Great Friend Amy and I worked out almost every morning through thewinter and I was eating what I thought then was  a healthy diet. I lost 22 lbs. Then I got my diagnosis. Almost everthing in my life came to a screeching halt. Working out, eating "healthy" and such.

Now over a year out from  my diagnosis and after MUCH research, I HAVE changed my diet drastically.

Months ago I gave up meat and dairy. Now in the last month I have started drinking wheatgrass juice several times a day, and eating more fruits, veggies. I will admit the one dairy I have yet to give up is sour cream. I am also still stuggling with sugar....mostly by using non dairy creamer in my smoothies, and eating the occasional graham cracker! Not bad though for someone who used to eat chocolate every single day, and snack on crackers and cereal and carbs all day.

I am now trying to figure out how to fit in all the veggies and fruits I need into one day. I get full and still don't see weight loss. Oh I forgot, yes on my salad I use dressing...need to figure out what to put on salad that I like and isn't full of preservatives...and sugar. Though I use much less dressing now than I used to. Not even 2 tbsp which is a serving size.

Not that it's all about weight loss. I didn't change my diet for that reason. I just read that I lot of the ppl who changed their diet this way lost a bunch of weight.

I have been researching what foods are the best at helping the body to heal. I just finished reading was good. All about how Heavenly Father gave us this wonderful body that is actually built to heal itself, IF we fuel it correctly. Over the years, and centuries we have come so far away from how Heavenly Father meant for us to eat. I am trying to get back to the basics, back to the way He intended for me to eat and take care of my body!

K, not gonna get on a box, if anyone wants to know more just ask.

just wanted to put out there that food is something that has been on my mind for YEARS , so for me to make the changes I have made and still be thinking about food all the time is understandable. Though I have to admit the food I think about all day now, isn't really junk food. Though I still daydream about chocolate every now and then. For the most part I am thinking more like, should I have a carrot smoothie, or a salad? Should I have salad, or homemade soup? If I only have a carrot smoothie, how will I get in all my veggies and fruits? I was eating chips with my homemade salsa, but finally threw the chips away!

I do sometimes think how nice it would be to have a big fat piece of homemade bread with my soup! But I am just getting used to eating it without bread.

So, to say the least, I have made a lot of changes in my diet. I think once I get out and start working out I will see big changes. The biggest change I want right now though is to see my body healing itself.

That would be such a feeling of joy! relief! and such a blessing!

May each of you have many blessings in your lives.


Damon @ Pasagshak, Kodiak. Helping Dad.

04 May, 2011


Two cousins bonding. How this brings back memories for me.

Time to cool down a bit.

In the SPLASH ZONE at Sea World.

Me and My Cousin....She came to Texas while I was there so we could see each other and catch up. It had been somewhere around 12 yrs since we had seen each other.

Water Fountains at Sea World.

This trip was WONDERFUL. Simply special. A time for relaxing, a time for visiting, a time for healing, a time for family, a time for fun, a time for sun, a time for catching up.

I look at the pictures and I feel homesick, not for home,but for family. The boys had so much fun together. The grown ups did too. I enjoyed spending time with my brother and his family, I enjoyed getting a lot of sun, and resting. Now i am home and trying to look forward to spring here. Which by the way, is still on it's way.