Me and My Family

Me and My Family

21 January, 2011

So Tired

One highlight of my day: snowshoeing with Damon in the yard. Highlight to come: possibly time for a nap by myself.

No more highlights right now, I am tired.

Tired of trying so hard.
Tired of struggling with my weight.
Tired of my issues with food.
Tired of BAD haircuts...and stylists who think I want conservative cuts. haha, that's the last thing I want
Tired of Damon not listening.
Tired of never being the one to be able to stay in bed as late as I want in the morning.
Tired of winter.
Tired of having Cancer.
Tired of not having my KODIAK friends around me.
Tired of craving bad food (did I mention something about food already?).
Tired of bills, and other peoples bills.
Tired of wearing sweatpants.
Tired of wondering......
Tired of being so far from family.
Tired of being TIRED!!!!!
It could be along tiring weekend.

16 January, 2011

Miracles and Misgivings

It is truly a miracle...there is presently no evidence of any cancer in my body.
Amazing! Wonderful! A true answer to all the prayers offered up for me.

Such a mood lifter and so many reasons to get myself healthy and stay that way. And yet....

And yet,

I still have small misgivings deep down inside. Will I have recurrance, When? If so will we be able to fight it again like this last time? Will I be able to fight this long enough to raise my son? The Doctor says it will most likely recurr, but she can't really say 100%. She at least gives a little room for hope in miracles, I think she senses our faith and reliance on our Heavenly Father.

I do have these misgivings, however, I do not let them smother me and my days. I am slowly getting back to a routine at the gym, at home, and in my mind. I sometimes forget I have to keep fighting. I like that feeling. I want to enjoy life they way I used to before April 22, 2010.

I'm getting there. All my side effects are gone with the exception of the neuropothy in hands and feet. Food tastes the way it should, (seems like a miracle in itself), I don't feel cold all the time, my stomach isn't rolling due to the chemicals in my body. My muscles are not tired and sore like they used to be, and I don't need a nap every day anymore. Even without a nap I can stay up most nights past 9pm. So, many things are getting back to normal.

I'll take as much normal I can get!!!! Normal comes with miracles and misgivings...I'll take both (more miracles than misgivings), but hey! 
Thank you to ALL of who have prayed for me (us) and kept us in your thoughts/hearts all these months.
Keep it comin'
God Bless each of you forever!

05 January, 2011

Reason for celebrations

Whew!!! I know it's been too long since I blogged. My fingertips are very sore from the neuropathy so it hurts to type.

I wanted to get on here though and let you know that I had another CT scan and today we got the results. The news was Good!!!

No evidence of metastatic disease to the chest, abdomen, or pelvis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wanted to cry and cry when she told us. I did a little and then quickly pulled myself together. I also wanted to jump up and down I was so excited.

Chance of recurrence is high however, my family and I are not going to dwell on this. We are going to keep tabs on things with CT scans every 12 wks, and keeping up with a healthy diet and exercise routine.

 We are so very grateful to everyone who has kept us in their prayers and thoughts. We are grateful for the power of prayer, the power that God has to work the medicine, and bless me so.

Please know that you are so appreciated!!

God Bless.