Well, John and I went to the Little Susitna River to try our lines on King Salmon. We had a good hike, but no Kings yet. They were down river still according to some man we spoke to...so maybe by next weekend they will be within reach. On our hike we came across snow, moose poop, moose and bear tracks. Thank goodness we didn't come across the producers of the tracks. One of the prints we saw was quite big. Makes me nervous.
All in all it was a nice morning out with John. Kinda like a morning date, Johns' way. lol
I hope I can spend a lot of time during this break getting out and enjoying nature, birds singing, green leaves, blooming flowers, and some nice hikes. It is soothing...
I had a friend comment to me that she can't believe how I keep my posts so upbeat/positive. I wasn't really aware that they were, but at this point I do actually feel it would be easy to let that slip and slide down into the negative. It would be easy to feel like I am losing the battle, lose hope. I am sad about the results of the last CT scan and feel nervous about what else to do. So many people have success stories. I want to have one. I want to be a true survivor.
You all can say I "will" be, and while that's a great thought, and it's good to be positive, I want to be realistic at the same time. Meaning, I could be, I want to be, I hope and pray I am, but I might not be. And I have to plan for that. I can't set myself up for failure and I can't do that to my son and husband. They have to be prepared for the worst and counting on the best. I don't want anyone to be mad and hold onto that if and when I do go, because let's face it, my odds aren't that great. Instead lets be so happy and excited if I do make it.
Sorry to drag you down...I had to get real, because this time I am posting I am not feeling so positive and I thought I would be honest with you.
So, there you have it.
I am having a good day, but throughout it I am riddled with worries.
I love you all. Thank you for reading.
May you each be blessed with good health and many birthdays.
Dani
You are my hero! I aspire to have your attitude, your spirit, your faith and if wishes and prayers could make it so you would live to be 101 from mine alone! I love you and am with you no matter what you mood or attitude or outcome. I love you forever and always, mom
ReplyDeleteDani - I think about you every day and love reading your posts... You will have a success story... I can feel it for you... Sending my positive thoughts and energy your way so you have the strength to smile everyday and be YOU! the amazing person you are! Love you and miss you still - Melanie
ReplyDeletehey girl, have been thinking of you for a long time and including you in my prayers. Catherine gave me this spot--so here I am.
ReplyDeleteToday is the day, for all of us. I am so glad you are
taking advantage of them. Keep up the good work.
The ivy you gave me is doing well. Put it high up on my
entertainment center and it seems to like it up there. It is beautiful!
Rainy day here, as usual. Hi to your family.
Love,
Marion
mjnell@hotmail.com
Oh Danielle, it would be so easy to slip into depression and isolation but here you are, posting about your thoughts and feelings. I admire that and I sure do see it as a positive attitude ... getting real is not easy. Nobody knows what it's like to walk in your shoes. I hope you keep posting and telling us your story. I think of you often and memories of spending time with you and your mom brings a smile and giggles to me. love, susan
ReplyDelete