I'm sitting here staring at my computer, trying to decide what to write about. I have so much going on in my head and heart.
Since the CT scan and results I have been more disheartened. I am still having good days, laughing, having fun, doing what needs to be done.
I couldn't even focus on yesterdays post....I left it and here I am again today, thursday, still with no interesting post ideas.
John spent a lot of time yesterday working on our garden...thank goodness it's almost done.. I just have to plant my carrots and some spinach. And of course in the front of the house I want to plant more flowers for lots of color. Today it rained all day so it was too wet to go out with little Ava (the sweet little girl I take care of during the day). lol Not that I wanted to go out and plant in the rain...no not even a little bit.
I finally made carrot/apple juice in the juicer...it was actually yummy. Last time I made some, over a year ago, it gagged me. I must have had the ratio of carrot/apple wrong. haha. Even Damon drank some yesterday and today. So proud of him. I guess if he isn't going to eat salad anymore, I should be happy he is willing to drink carrot juice. Even Ava drank some of mine. She loves it. She loves my vitamix soup, my smoothies, and even green juice.
Damon is feeling much better after having come down with Strep throat and being treated. now John doesn't feel good. I guess with all of us so stressed out it is not surprising we are coming down with viruses.
We are going to learn to reduce our stress, I don't know how, but we will work on that. Juice, scripture reading, doing things together, for me...gardening, reading, crocheting maybe, riding bike when it's not raining.
Well I guess this has just been a random post. the goings on around here day to day. John and I are finally working on our "will". that's not the funnest thing to talk about and deal with but it needs to be done sooner rather than later. I get more upset about dealing with that than i used to. I guess maybe I thought before I got sick, that talking about "if something happened to me" then it wouldn't. that couldn't be farther from the reality. Something DID happen to me and now we have to do this will. I don't like it. Kaili doesn't like it, John doesn't like it. I can't stand to think of not being here to help Damon navigate his childhood. It should be me, his momma. In the mean time I will do all that I can, love him with all my heart, teach him all that I can think of. i often find myself giving Kaili and John pep talks about what I want for Damon, etc...
I will keep praying, keep reading, keep my faith. Heavenly Father has a plan bigger than all of us...and if it includes taking me home, then I pray for peace and healing for all my family and loved ones including friends, left here to deal with life. I pray that everyone will carry on, believing that I'm happy, and looking forward to the day when we are reunited! These things I pray for.
love,
Dani
Dear Dani, I have been following your post but havent commented too much, just want to know how you are doing. You probably know I lost my sweet daughter almost 4 years ago to a rare cancer. She has 2 children who were 5 and 3. All through her fight she was positive and we always knew she would be alright no matter how it turned out, it was always hard and still is but I know all is well. I hope only the best outcome for you and your family and know that you are right when you say Heavenly Father has a bigger plan for us and i know he loves you and your family, we are praying for you and would do whatever we can to help. I'm off for the summer...mostly so if you want to go walking, talking or whatever really give me a call, we could count it as visit teaching, there we have more than one reason :) see you sunday. love sister baker
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