Me and My Family

Me and My Family

12 August, 2010

Cycle #5: infusion center in Anchorage.

Me with my mom at infusion #5.

IT took a long time. I arrived at 10:40, got my blood taken, and waited for the nurse to take me back, then we waited for the Doc to arrive. She finally did and we both had questions for her. We rescheduled my CT scan for October 6th. I will get it early in the morning and meet with the doctor in the afternoon to go over the scan.

After we met with the Doctor I went back to the infusion room and got all my meds hooked up. My mom sat with me and we read, snacked, and talked. My brother came to visit me on his lunch break. It is soooo nice to have family and friends supporting me even when I am gone from home. So we were there until 4:00.

The day before, WEdnesday when I flew in on the med flight, John and Damon came with me. They came just to spend the day. WE went to the zoo with DAmon and had fun. Damon got to pet the animals in the petting zoo..

And we saw other animals we were not allowed to pet, and just had fun together.

It was a GREAT start to my time in Anchorage.

It was really hard for me to take them to the terminal at the end of the afternoon.

So back to today...after My mom and I came back to Jeremy's I left and went to visit a friend from when I lived here before. Susan! I served with her in the Young Women's organization of our church before and she is wonderful. It was SO good to visit with her and catch up on what has been going on in our lives since I left Anchorage in 2005.
There was a lot. A lot to talk about, a lot we didn't know about each other. She had a lot of questions for me, and I was fine with that. You hear that Susan? I don't mind your questions AT aLL. Ask away!

For example: Susan wanted to know HOW am I dealing with this Cancer? How do I stay positive, or at least seem like I am? How do I have the energy to keep going and do the things I do rather than want to just crawl into bed and be sad? As I was talking to her and trying to answer her questions it dawned on me that I must be more positive than I feel...hahaha or I give off that impression to people because she isn't the first person to mention it.

Though I DO feel positive a lot of the time. I told Susan, like I've told many others, I don't really feel like I can crawl into bed and be sad because then I won't want to come out and I really don't have time for that. My prayer has always been that I want to raise my son, so if I crawled into bed, who would be raising him? Not me! I need to do my part and prove that I am willing to do the work behind my prayer requests.

Am I scared? YES.
Am I sad? YES.
Am I stressed? YES.
Am I worried? YES.

I am all those things, but I want to enjoy every moment that I am given. Or at least try to enjoy them. I still get tired and frustrated with my son. He challenges me every single day. I do things to pamper myself though and take time for me. Going to the gym is kind of one of those things. And I started getting a massage every other week right before I come to Anchorage. When I come to Anchorage I take myself to a movie, or two. I do as much as I can to help me feel "normal".

I do NOT research online. I leave that to others. And I enjoy hearing the success stories they tell me. Then go pray that I can be one of those success stories even in years to come.

My first Oncologist (I changed Docs) told me that he doesn't expect me to live the average lifespan of the american woman, which is 87. OK then, I'll take 85. That is a good number.

I am really nervous about the CT scan in October, but excited for the Doctors to review my case when this bigwig from Pennsylvania to staff with the Doctors at Katmai.

Last night I went to see "Charlie St. Cloud". I didn't realize it was going to be sad. Though I should have known, cuz I knew that the younger brother was going to die. I won't say more for those of you who want to see the movie and haven't.

So, I will continue my trip home from the hospital on another day. Gotta get some sleep. Keep your prayers coming, I need them.

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