What a difference a Day makes!

It's now Wednesday; so it's been two days since I posted however, it's been one day since day six post treatment.

Days four, five, and six are the worst.

Today, day seven, is MUCH better. I had more energy, and my muscles did not ache so much. My teeth even get sore and they felt better!!!

Despite feeling better I didn't get out to play with Damon until Darkness was falling.

He was shoveling the yard, then pulled a cooler around, to move the snow he says. AFter that he rode his bike around...didn't get a pic of that.

So that was his dose of outdoors today. It was cold and WinDy out. I stayed on the porch until my face was numb and tingling at which point I demanded we go in and try again tomorrow.

During the day though, we took a very nice quiet time, Ran a few errands, did some laundry, and, don't laugh,
listened



to



Christmas



Music!!!!

Yes, you read that right, I listened to Christmas music today. I just wasn't in the mood for anything else. Only two CD's of it then I switched. I think I got my fix until Thanksgiving.

We'll see.


I am trying to incorporate music back into my everyday doings. I lOvE music but in the past few years haven't spent a lot of time listening for my own enjoyment. I use it at the gym, but that's about it. So, my new daily goal, to listen to at least two CD's of great music. I am also reading again. Of course I am reading Cancer books mostly, but at least I am reading.


Speaking of reading, this is something I came across today in a book..."Finding the 'CAN' in Cancer". It was talking about FEAR. Breaking it down to help one deal with it.

F-Face it

E-Examine it

A-Ask for help

R-Release it

I like that! The Chapter that talks about Fear is the same one which discusses Hearing the news and dealing with it. There are stages of phases one might go through...they are very similar to those that one goes through when dealing with a death...Shock, Denial, Fear, Why Me, Isolation/loneliness, Worry, Anger, Depression, and then the question, What now????

I find myself going through these in waves, not all at once and not all the time every day. But maybe one day I feel fear. Then I won't for a long time again, but will feel Anger, or worry.

Worry is probably the biggest one for me. Suprising I know! Before my diagnosis, I NEVER worried about anything.

nope,

not a thing!

hahahaha, if you believe that, STOP reading now and go back to facebook. lol

Of course I worry, so do all of us. But my worries are so different now. What I have going for me is my FAITH. I was speaking to a dear friend earlier, she is not of my faith, yet can recognize that my faith and my church family/network has been a "Godsend" for me. She understands how important my faith is to me. I am so Blessed. She has always seen things before I realized it myself. Of course I realize my Faith is important, just recently coming to really strengthen it though. I have Faith in my Saviours ability to heal me, to help me, to strengthen me, to uplift me, to give me peace, and to help me endure to the end...whenever it shall be. I do have faith and a certain determination to be around to raise my son, to see him serve a mission and become an adult.


That is my primary FEAR, that something will go wrong in my recovery and I won't be here to raise Littleman!!! But my attitude along with my faith, determination, and strength will give me the power to stick around. And of course, YOUR prayers!

Now let me not leave you with such a sad ending.

Today was a good day. Tomorrow will be better. And each day like that until next week when I start again! ugh. Four more treatments until i have another CT scan. I CAN do it. I CAN get through. I CAN tackle the side effects and still take care of my son, my husband, and my home. I CAN and I WILL. I may enlist a bit of help here and there, but that's OK.

Blessings to ALL of you! Thank you AGAIN and everyday for your happy, positive thoughts, and prayers.

Dani