Me and My Family

Me and My Family

03 June, 2013

You just never know

You just never know...
     ~what you'll be when you grow up (till you grow up and do it)
     ~who you will marry (or if you will)
     ~how many kids you will have (and if they will be boys, girls, angels, or whippersnappers)
     ~where you will live (and who you will live with)
     ~who will stand by your side (through the thick and thin...until they do it)
     ~how you will die (or when)
     ~what trials you will face (or how you will face them)
     ~what blessings you will receive (until you receive them, and learn to recognize them)
     ~what your life holds for you (until you live it!)

Today I anxiously waited for a phone call that never came. What a day of emotional ups and downs. This whole week will be that way for me. These weeks I have bloodwork and CT scans are very emotional for me. Even now that I am relying on my lifestyle change to encourage my body to heal naturally. There are so many unknowns....not different really than traditional treatment. Have I drank enough juice? Have I stayed away from other foods enough? Have I taken enough supplements? Have I reduced my stress enough? Have I incorporated enough positive thoughts? Have I given it enough time?
I go from thinking I am doing all these things right and of course!!!! there will be change for the better, to thinking of course I haven't done enough...and my scan will show it with growth! Or even thinking...despite my best efforts maybe there will be growth anyway.
Its nerve racking!
It's stressful!
It's crazy making!
I will be so glad when it's Thursday night, even if my news isn't what I had hoped, prayed and worked hard for.
I mean come on, how many of you can honestly say you like the unknown? I don't think there are many of us who do.
I work hard every single day to be as positive as I can, while still being realistic. Life can change in a second! Things can change in my body fast and I could recover, or get worse. Time is precious!
Let's remember to make the most of it.
Love ya all.
Danielle

3 comments:

  1. Dani, you hit the nail on the head! You just never know.. All any of us can really do is give it your best shot and trust yourself to know you gave it all you have... And believe change is possible!..harness the power!

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  2. Cant say i know how you feel but I know how I felt going through something similar with my Jewell, It was hard to wait not knowing what was coming next, I think of you often, thanks for helping us all remember what is important :) I think your amazing!

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  3. The good thing is that you are LIVING your life the way you want to live it. LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!

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