You just never know...
~what you'll be when you grow up (till you grow up and do it)
~who you will marry (or if you will)
~how many kids you will have (and if they will be boys, girls, angels, or whippersnappers)
~where you will live (and who you will live with)
~who will stand by your side (through the thick and thin...until they do it)
~how you will die (or when)
~what trials you will face (or how you will face them)
~what blessings you will receive (until you receive them, and learn to recognize them)
~what your life holds for you (until you live it!)
Today I anxiously waited for a phone call that never came. What a day of emotional ups and downs. This whole week will be that way for me. These weeks I have bloodwork and CT scans are very emotional for me. Even now that I am relying on my lifestyle change to encourage my body to heal naturally. There are so many unknowns....not different really than traditional treatment. Have I drank enough juice? Have I stayed away from other foods enough? Have I taken enough supplements? Have I reduced my stress enough? Have I incorporated enough positive thoughts? Have I given it enough time?
I go from thinking I am doing all these things right and of course!!!! there will be change for the better, to thinking of course I haven't done enough...and my scan will show it with growth! Or even thinking...despite my best efforts maybe there will be growth anyway.
Its nerve racking!
It's crazy making!
I will be so glad when it's Thursday night, even if my news isn't what I had hoped, prayed and worked hard for.
I mean come on, how many of you can honestly say you like the unknown? I don't think there are many of us who do.
I work hard every single day to be as positive as I can, while still being realistic. Life can change in a second! Things can change in my body fast and I could recover, or get worse. Time is precious!
Let's remember to make the most of it.
Love ya all.