This week in Anniversaries

Sunday the 21st was my wedding anniversary. 

8 years!!! 

Some days those years feel so short, like the time went by so fast, too fast. Other days it seems sooo long. Who would have ever thought I would be married for 8 years. And so much has happened in those 8 years. Just as I think, and say out loud occasionally, there just aren't enough hours in each day to get done what I want and need to get done...when I look back on 8 years there seems to be so much time there! 

Time I could have done more with. 

Not that these last 8 years haven't been great, they have held many blessings for me and for John. It just seems we could have squeezed in a little more "doing". 

John and I began our anniversary celebration by going to a movie together a couple of nights before our anniversary. On the actually day of our anniversary we both got up, got ready for church, attended church, came home ate lunch, having both forgotten which day it was!!!! Not until my precious daughter texted me with well wishes for the special day it was, did I remember. I promptly went and gave John a big ol' hug and smooch right in front of Damon!!!! I like to try and gross him out every now and then. but this time he was cheering..kiss more, kiss more! He seems to be in a kissing phase, might have to cut back on his viewing of movies and TV. He has been trying to kiss me and say, let's get married, or let's have a married kiss....hahaha 6 yr old boys! Though it warms my heart when he talks about wanting to marry me, or someone as beautiful as me. awhhh. 

John and I plan on finishing our celebration at the gun range! Of all places. I wanted to get pedicures together, we need them, but he wants me to practice with my new gun, which is a good idea. 

Yesterday however, was the anniversary of my diagnosis with stage IV Colon Cancer. ugh. 

I was sitting outside yesterday afternoon watching my very active son play while I soaked up some sun. While feeling the bright, warming rays on my face it dawned on me that this day three years ago was also a very beautiful day, in Kodiak, Alaska. While my husband and I were driving home from having heard the news, the sun was beating down through the windshield. I wanted nothing more than to go home and get out my lawn chair and sit in that sun the rest of the day, or walk the neighborhood with my son, or take him to the playground. But it wasn't to happen that way. I called my best friend there in Kodiak, Amy Earle, and asked if she and her family could watch Damon for a few hours. I had to go back to the hospital for some tests and scans. I had to drink this big jug of nasty liquid. I told her on the phone I wasn't ok, but would have to fill her in later when Damon wasn't listening...I think. Some details like that slip my mind. Maybe I did tell her right then. I was in such shock that any thought of Damon overhearing me was possibly cast aside. Some of my weaker moments! 

Needless to say Amy and her husband, Jake willingly took Damon, then I went home to drink my gallon of guk, and my mom called while I was there. She had bad news. Her sister had just passed that morning. Mom was crying and so sad, I completely understand, but now I had to give her more bad news. I had to bring her down more. I had to completely ruin her day, week, weekend, month even. I let her talk and when she was done I asked her to sit down. I told her I hated to do this, to grieve her further but I had news of my own. "I have Cancer", I told her. We both started crying, and mom was very upset. When she calmed a little, I asked her to come right away as I was to go into surgery in four days. We needed help with Damon and the home. 

So John and I headed back to town, I don't know what was going through Johns head, but all I could think about was "this is a test of our faith", and "what will my son turn out to be like if I don't raise him?" "how can I miss all the things my son is going to go through in his growing up years?!" I can't!!! I have to be here. 

So, while the beautiful, warm, brilliant sun shone outside, I was inside getting scans, and talking to my doctor. 

I am happy and blessed to be here 3 years later....statistically speaking I shouldn't be. I AM! And I am still fighting statistics. 

I am going to keep fighting. I welcome and appreciate all your happy, positive thoughts, and prayers! 

May you have many "happy" anniversaries. 

love,

Dani

Just when you do one thing...

One thing......being getting my bike down and pumping up the tires, and putting away the winter gear. Just when I do all that, it snows for the second time since we had a week of warmer temps and  a bunch of melting going on.
Two separate weeks of warmer temps. It warmed up, then it snowed.
It warmed up again and that snow melted along with old snow...the ditches have been overflowing and most of the yard was snow free. I even went outside without a coat a few times. Then is started snowing again!
Tricky tricky tricky.
Another trick.....starting a project which involves yarn, thinking you have enough because you bought how much it said you would need for that project...only to run out. Upon returning to that store the yarn you need is GONE! yes, GONE....every last one, in every darn color.
DArn darn darn......
So I picked a different yarn, for a completely different project and bought an extra skein...more than it suggests I would need for the project I am planning. I hope it's enough because with my luck if its not, that yarn won't be available when I return.
This is a lesson one would think I have already learned! Well at least me and my daughter would think so. (right Kaili?!) She is always telling me, if you don't buy it now it probably won't be here next time....not speaking of yarn but clothing or shoes...
I heard back from Mr. Gore though. The author of the book I mentioned in my previous post. He emailed me back and said he is going to call me. Awesome. I look forward to speaking with him.
Happy weekend everyone!
Dani

aaawwwwhhh yum

Well
So much has happened.
I have made a lot of recipes since I have been home, but not all of the ones I learned, yet.
John and Damon seem to already have their favorites and so have made those a few times.
Tonight I made butternut squash soup again...third time,except the second time I made it only potato soup at John's request and added some of the potatoes as chunks.
Chunks were requested.
Chunks were given.
Broccoli was also requested.
Broccoli with added.
John loved it.
Me,
Not so much!!!
I just love the creamy, squashy, soupy, texture and taste.
I dream about what it would taste like coming from a big, warm, melt in my mouth bread bowl.
mmmmm, I can still dream!!!!
Carrot juice doesn't really conjure up many "dreams" of such things, so when I make the soup, I love the moment.
I found these cool flatbread things at the store, they fold in half and make great veggie sandwiches. I have to have pickles on mine! John loved that too!
John and I went to the Great Alaska Sportsmans Show last saturday and looked at the infrared saunas. We ended up at the store later that day to discuss with Linda, the deal we might get on one. When she found out I had Cancer, she gave me a book. "Defeat Cancer: A Battle Plan for Living" by Gregory A. Gore. It's a great book. I am eagerly reading it to get more wonderful information about what to put in my body that can be healing and nutritional.
She gave me his phone number too. I do have questions for him, but didn't feel brave enough to call, so I called Linda and asked if she could supply me with his email address instead. She did, and I just got done emailing me my questions.
I hope I hear back from him soon.
I will let you know.
I have been busy juicing, walking, and Damon and I even went for our first bike ride of the season two night ago. the weather has been nice with Temps in the 40's during the afternoon. Next week will be cooler again, in the 20's. hmmmm, and we thought spring was coming. hahaha, in Alaska the joke is always on us.
The sauna..?
It's therapeutic.
Relaxing.
Warm.
Or hot. 
I love getting in and reading, or just praying, or meditating to relaxing music while I sweat!
It has colored lights so I can turn them according to my mood...blue, green, red, or red and blue, red and green.
It has a cd player too so I can play my relaxing cd's.
mmm so nice.
Blessings to each of you!!!!
Love
Dani

not forgotten

I haven't forgotten about my blog, or my readers. I have just been so very busy since I returned from Hallelujah Acres. I really want to write more on the whole experience and I will...right now it's my bedtime.
I promise I will write before the weekend.
Thank you for being patient.
Dani