She'll be coming around the mountain

She'll be comin around the mountain when she comes....That's the song I am reminded of today as I come around this big mountain of exhaustion, weakness, feeling yucky, mouth sores, etc....

I felt on and off ok on Thursday and Friday, getting worse towards evenings when my body just would give out. By Saturday afternoon though I felt LOUSY! It was all I could do to get off the couch. I didn't feel like eating, reading, watching TV, talking, anything...My poor boys...it's so hard for a person to understand unless they see me, or go through it themselves, let alone a 5 yr old! how many times do I explain that it's the medicine we are using to try to get me better that is making me feel so crappy? How many ways? I pray pray pray that I can go into remission for much longer this time.

For these two! And my husband of course. These two beauties are my babies. My life! My sunshine! My joy! My inspiration! My motivation! Though I must interject here, it takes more than them to get me on the treadmill. Crazy I know. but true.
They motivate me in many other ways.
We had pictures taken of them, and each of them with me, and a few of all three of us. I want them to have some nice pictures of us together to keep forever. Happy pictures.
Now I think it's naptime. right? right. I'll make an attempt. Though today I have more energy I am still shaky in the muscles.
Blessings to each of you!!!
love
Dani

think you're old?

If you think you're old or hate being old, I don't wanna hear about it. Not to be rude or anything, but really? Do you have your health? Could you do something to gain some health? Are you able to walk, move, drive, sing, think happy thoughts, cook, do dishes, vacuum, ski, snowshoe, hike, etc...? AMEN. Thank goodness. Whether you do those things or not doesn't really matter. What matters is if you were going to, would you be able to?
Can you still make choices for yourself? AMEN!
Birthdays Birthdays Birthdays. Mine is coming up. My mom's is before mine. Our age might indicate that we have been around for a while.....seen a few things, done a few things, forgotten a few things, but we aren't old. And if we are so what! At least we ARE! We are here to have a Birthday. So I say CELEBRATE, sing songs, eat cake, slap yourself on the back! or pat, or rub, or scratch. Treat yourself to something special, a massage, manicure, haircut, a good book. Just CELEBRATE. If you are reading this then I know you are breathing still. lol
Let's be grateful when we get another birthday! Another season! Another holiday! Another DAY!

love
Dani

A few pictures from over Christmas break

My little hero! Adventurer, creator, superman, sculptor. 

Here he is building a volcano.

Here we are ...................you guessed it, we are sledding. This hill was fun coming down, but a pain to climb up. it was steep and icy. This was before the cold snap we've had now for a few weeks.

I went out one morning by myself and was able to get some cool pics of

the sky.

And the frost on the trees

Improvement

There has been improvement! And I am not talking about me. I am talking about Damon and his behavior at school. I got his second quarter report card yesterday and it was GREAT. He has made incredible strides forward since last quarter. He is demonstrating better self control and is getting along with others better, he is listening better and focusing on his work. I am Such a PROUD momma. Mrs. Novak also said he is on the verge of reading. I beleive it. He is my ROCK STAR!!!!
On another note...I found a publisher I think might work with me. I am so excited. I now have an "assignment" from her so that gives me direction and something to work with. Now I have already started my outlines and lists, and putting my ideas on paper. Some of them were already on the computer, but not so specific as they are going to be now.
Can't wait!!!!
And yet another note...it's windy now...we haven't had much wind at all so far this winter so I guess we are due. I should NOT have said anything to anyone a few days ago about the wind...now we are going to get it.
I have some pics I need to load and edit so I can put them up. I will do it soon.
gotta go make lists, and work on my "assignment".

Blessings!!!!!
Dani

Mmmm good

Hi! Wednesday was a pretty good day considering Damon was home from school. I wanted to make sure he was really over the flu bug.
He is now better, tucked into bed and ready to go back to school tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, Kaili and I are having a SPA day. We are going to Allure Day Spa in Anchorage and getting the royal treatment. WEll, me a little bit more than Kaili, but still...can't go wrong with a good massage right? I hope Kaili's IS actually good. I've been to one of these other spa's in Anchorage, not Allure, and the massage I got was HoRrIbLE. yes, totally bad.

On another note, I have been reading this book about launching a home based business for women, and came across a sidebar about another woman who runs a publishing company. I looked it up online and was so pleasantly suprised by what I found. I am sooooo excited to email her and pitch my book idea(s) to her. I think this is what I have been looking for. I am now more excited than ever to write these books I have in my mind. I don't have a problem with ideas, it's just launching them that I have trouble with. It's like taking pictures. I love love love doing that (of scenery), but hate hate hate editing. I give much kudos to my friend AMy and her sister in their photography businesses. I could NEVER do what they do. Of course I do'nt really have to worry about that cus like I said I like scenery...I don't do portraits. Thank goodness. lol

So anyway, I am really looking forward to start rolling my book writing ball. In the meantime I will enjoy my treatment at the spa tomorrow. Will let you all know how it goes. If I make it home. haha

Happy relaxing!
Dani

Vomit and Puke

As a mother I take delight and almost everything I get to do with my kids. I love coloring with Damon, sledding, hiking, taking walks, watching movies, watching him build with legos or playdough. I love seeing Damon and Kaili together doing things as brother and sister. I enjoy knowing Kaili and forging ahead in creating her own adult life.

Even Damon's incessent talking brings me some measure of comfort.

It's even not too bad that (don't tell him I told you) he still wears a pull up at night.

But I have to draw the line!!!

When I am only just feeling better myself since my last chemo cycle and Damon gets violently ill in the night. John did get up with him a couple of times, but after that it was my turn. Three of four more times and what a mess. As a mother I do feel for my son...I really do, but I just have a really hard time with puke. I was tempted to take one of my ZOFRAN.  Doing laundry at 5:30am is not an ideal time for housework in my mind. Or being awake, unless I am headed to the gym with AMy! Which I wasn't. So it wasn't ok this morning.

And when Damon should have been exhausted and sleeping until at least 8:00am, he was awake and ready to come downstairs at 6!!!!! Wow! We ARE going to be taking a nap today...soon actually.

I hope he feels better soon and right behind that, I hope I don't get this! I HATE puke! And I hardly think Zofran would help if I had the full blown flu bug.

So, off I go to Lyesol the house, wash my hands and rest.

Have a great week.

Health to all.

Dani

Love/ Hate relationships

Have you ever had a love/hate relationship with anyone or anything? It's a stressful thing. It can be a wonderful thing in it's time. Mostly though, just stressful and thought provoking. I am currently having a love/hate relationship with my treadmill...ok really maybe it's just my body I have this relationship with....? I have to think about this a minute.

Ok, I DO have that relationship with my body ( I know Susan, I hear you now...stop worrying about your body when you have "bigger" things to concern yourself with!!!) but at this very moment the primary Love/Hate relationship is with my treadmill.

I got on it to walk and promptly started sweating and breathing hard. What? I thought walking was easy and therapuetic? hahaha the joke is on me. Walking is not easy when you haven't done it in a long time and you aren't feeling well due to many reasons. Not the least of which is having poisonous chemicals in ones body. And a cough over a month old, and weak muscles due to lack of exercise, and no will power, and no fun work out partner, and and and.....

AND I am going to fight through this Love/Hate relationship because I need strong muscles, and lungs, and I need to feel better while having chemicals put into my body. I need to help do my part to fight this "flippin" C. I want to feel strong again. It makes me sad, longing for winter of 09/10 when my Really good friend in Kodiak, Amy, and I worked out almost every morning that winter. We would hit the gym at 5:30am like a religion. We walked, ran, lifted weights, rode, stretched, did the precor, swam, on and on and on we did this and each lost a bunch of weight and started feeling strong and great. I want to feel that again!!! Amy can you come here? I need you and the gym! I need it to be that easy again...short drive, get in and get home before John even has to get up for work.

It seems I have a long way to go. I have obstacles to overcome. I have work to DO!!!

See you down the road.

Dani

Two Scriptures to think on.

1 Corinthians 13:7 "Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

Hebrews 6:15 "And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise."

Passing Time

I let too much time pass since my last post. Since then I still find many things to be thankful for. I try every day to verbalize at least to myself, something I am grateful for without being repetitive. We had Christmas and of course I am SO grateful for the holiday season and for my Savior! I am grateful for family to celebrate with and technology that allows me to talk with and see other family far away. 

My guys wore their matching ties from "The Belle and the Beau". Love that Etsy shop. 

My mom was in town for one of my treatments and it also happened to be the week of Damon's Christmas concert at school. 

Time at the mall with Big Sister Kaili. 

Sledding at Hatcher Pass. The snow was deep and it started snowing more when we arrived. 

The crew wanted to eat out at the Burger joint after Hather Pass. 

I made caramels. Haven't done this in years. I overestimated how long I would have to stand there stirring. It didn't take nearly as long as I remember. It's the cooling, cutting, and wrapping that is more time consuming. But boy are they worth it all. So delicious. We wrapped up plates of caramels and cookies to share with neighbors and friends. 

I love the holidays. I love Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. and then it's all over!!! But there are birthdays coming that we can celebrate!
In the meantime, I took one extra week in between treatments so I could feel good on Christmas Eve. I started back up this last week. Whew!!!!!!!!!! that just may have been a mistake. I have felt lousy since Wednesday. Starting to feel human again tonight but it was rough yesterday and the day before. I barely made it outside yesterday for some little hometown fireworks in the front yard with John, Damon and a friend of Damon's. Not to mention it was CoLD out and so we were a little deterred by that. Kids don't seem to notice that sort of thing as much as we grownups do though. Lucky little stinkers. I am so not doing good on my diet...aka way of eating...l.ifestyle...(not to be confused with a fad diet). I am still eating all the good stuff, but throwing in some yummies here and there for good, no wait, bad measure. Like that bowl of caramels up there? I DID eat some. I can't possibly send out food to neighbors and friends without knowing how it tastes. There had to be some sampling going one...and who better to do it than the cook herself? I agree.
So, no resolutions for me this year, just a few thoughts on things I would like to do better:
get more exercise
read more classics
work on my books
write in blog more consistantly
eat healthier
be nicer
do yoga
That's just a few to start with. We'll see where these get me. lol
I pray your New Year is filled with Blessings, happiness, goals fulfilled, dreams come true, and family, friends, and laughter.
Happy New Year everyone.
Dani