Lost Thoughts, have u seen them?

Is anyone else out there at all like me? Do you ever get a good idea and think it's so great that you won't forget what it is so you don't write it down..then later can't remember it??? For me I get these ideas when I'm driving or out somewhere and don't have the resources TO write it down. Later, I can't even recall what the heck I had in mind. The ideas are usually for my blog. Darn it all!!! This is what I'm going through right now. Yesterday I had this wonderful idea for a blog entry...did I write it down or voice it out loud to my husband?

NO

So now all I can do is write about how I HAD this idea and now am writing about how I forgot it. hmmmm

Something is wrong with this picture. And if any of you have this same problem then I can no longer blame my forgetfullness on "chemo brain" which I haven't too much as I just learned about this term the last month of treatment. I didn't feel it was right to blame it when I hadn't even known about it.

Like when I found out I could have gone to DMV and requested a "handicap" sticker for my car for parking. It was the last month of treatment and I didn't feel it would be right/fair to get one at that point in the game. Though that month following my last treament would have been GREAT to park so close. I know better now. IF and I mean IF I go back for more torture....I WILL be getting a "handicap" parking tag!!! Especially if it's winter. The cold air does numbing things to my face, and pokey prickly things to my hands after a treatment.

Well, this entry wasn't really about treatment, but hey. I wanted to add a few pics from recently so here are a few.



This white boy can dance!



And Dance!



And give affection....



Great Strides : Great Strokes

For me, Great Strides in gaining energy. I am starting to feel more like me again. Some mornings I get up and just start doing housework. I get a lot done too, just in the morning. It amazes me. It feels good. It makes me sweat. It makes me feel productive. It makes me feel better. Then later, it makes me feel tired again!! lol

For Damon, Great Strokes in swimming lessons. Something finally clicked with him in todays lesson when he was swimming. He actually did what the teacher has been trying to get him to do with his arms. Either hold them out in front and kick to the side, or use them to swim forward. He was previously going into doggy paddle mode as a sort of sink or swim mode. Now he is getting it!!! It's fun to watch him. He is making so much progress.

For John, Great effort in the gym. He has been so dedicated the last few weeks to going every day! I'm proud of him cus there are days I bow out. Like today, Damon is tired and I don't feel like going anywhere else. Although I did my walking workout, 3 miles already today so I don't feel too guilty.

This is what my energy got from me today:

Cleaned three bathrooms not including bathtubs
Did a load of laundry
Folded previous days laundry and put it away
Did Dishes
Did 3 miles walking video
Made smoothies
Played with Damon in his room.
there might be more but I can't remember. lol

tomorrow we head to Elmendorf, I meet with Surgery to discuss what we will do with my abdominal hernias. Hopefully getting them fixed asap.

Blessings to all of you!!!

Sacrifice

Curious........Todays lesson in Relief Society was about sacrifice, which made me think of my last post regarding taking things for granted.
The question was raised, would we give up our "things" in order to follow Christ? What would we be willing to give up in the name of family, for family time, or in order to help family or friends?

I started thinking about myself of course and how we left Kodiak and all my great friends there in order to be closer to my health care and not have to travel every other week, leaving my family behind. Of course now that I am well (for the time being) I wish we were still in Kodiak! I do feel like we sacrificed a lot to be here in Palmer now. John's job for instance..because we are on  a humanitarian transfer his job is an unbudgeted poistion and there isn't much for him to do. I worried about that....that he would not have anything to do and get bored. He said it didn' matter as long as we were able to have easy access to my doctor and treatment and not have to leave him and Damon every other wk.

But John being the man that he is (sacrificing, generous, loving),  was ok with all that. Even leaving behind the best fishing ever and some of the best memories we have made so far in our short marriage.

And I know that the sacrifices were necessary and that John would do it all over again....except for the stress.

Today I am so grateful for friends put in my life at certain times for certain reasons, family willing to sacrifice money and time to help my family, John my husband who is always there for me and willing to do what I need him to do. I am grateful for two of the best kids ever!!!!! I am grateful for heavenly father working the medicine in my body, and for giving me more time with these friends and family. I am grateful for the new friends I am making (even if slowly) here in Palmer. I am grateful for each and every one of you who read my blog and pray for me and support me.

I think I could give up what I have to follow my saviour (as long as I can take John and Damon with), haha. I could leave the TV, cable, movies, computer. I am sure I won't have to give up all that but sacrifice does come in many forms...

What are some sacrifices some of you have had to make that benefited you in the long run?

HAppy Valentines Day tomorrow everyone!!!

If  you are anything like me, you sometimes take everyday things for granted. Or big things. Goofy moments with your children!

                                                     Happy moments with your children!

  

Your Husband!

Not that I EVER take my husband for granted and I am sorry If you do.....haha

The power to be a superhero by putting on the underwear!

Relaxation time.

the love of family!!!!

A Good bed to sleep on.

and.....

A GREAT couch to sit on.

I will confess though...even since my diagnosis, I DO still take some of these things for granted. It's unfortunate but true. It's something I am working on. I should never get too comfortable in my comfort!

Before, I always took my health for granted. It's no guarantee I realize now. Even though I thought I was "healthy", eating what I thought was health food, exercising, etc...I was so far from healthy I didn't even have a clue. Now I have a clue and still I take things for granted, but less and less I take my health for granted.

The one thing I am the most guilty of taking for granted is ....

my

Husband!!!

Thats right. John! I bet none of you have that problem. Lucky! ha. When I stop and think about it I do realize all that he does for me just because he loves me. But usually I just float through my days, not really giving it much thought. Shame on me. I am trying to be more conscious of who is around me, what they are doing, and why they are doing it. for example, John comes home from work and  most days whips out the vacuum cleaner and starts at it. I usually take it as, he must think I don't do enough during the day so he has to pick up he slack. 

The hard cold truth is...he says he is doing it to help me out. 

And I appreciate that, really I do.

Even if I don't show it all the time.

Showing....that's very difficult for me when it comes to ANYONE but my two children. Showing them is easy. Hugs, kisses, tickles, playtime, reading, walks, etc...Showing others is not so easy for me.

So as my days go by and I find myself taking things and people for granted, I am going to stop and reflect on ways to be grateful and show it. I am going to embrace the little things!

Will you do the same?

Let's not take a single moment or day for granted. Let's love each moment, each silly thing our kids do, each kind deed our spouses or family do, our ability to choose healthy foods, exercise, time to read, naps, walks, nice sunny weather!

Ok, well we don't choose the weather, but we can choose what to do with our time when it's nice out.

Take nothing for granted, or at least try.

I'm trying...everyday is a learning experience!

One I am grateful for.

Blessings to each of you... my family, friends!

A Birthday pre-blog

Damon's Fourth Birthday, which happened before I started my blog. (I think) I guess I could look it up. (but why would I want to do that?)

Birthday Breakfast

Birthday Boy loves his breakfast

the SuperHero of the house!

Oh, here is the superhero of the house...and his cake.

And the Superhero's friends

and his Big Sister!

this was a fun day for all. We went swimming at the pool on Base before all coming here to the house for Ironman cake and fun with friends. There were balloons for everyone!

I've since been informed that the fifth birthday will be a superhero one also, but with multiple Hero's. We'll see about that.

And to think, I thought I was Hero Enough! What's a mother to do.

Keep on lovin'

Keep on playin'

Keep on teachin'

Keep on plannin'

I love Damon with all my heart!!!!

So Tired

One highlight of my day: snowshoeing with Damon in the yard. Highlight to come: possibly time for a nap by myself.

No more highlights right now, I am tired.

Tired of trying so hard.
Tired of struggling with my weight.
Tired of my issues with food.
Tired of BAD haircuts...and stylists who think I want conservative cuts. haha, that's the last thing I want
Tired of Damon not listening.
Tired of never being the one to be able to stay in bed as late as I want in the morning.
Tired of winter.
Tired of having Cancer.
Tired of not having my KODIAK friends around me.
Tired of craving bad food (did I mention something about food already?).
Tired of bills, and other peoples bills.
Tired of wearing sweatpants.
Tired of wondering......
Tired of being so far from family.
Tired of being TIRED!!!!!
It could be along tiring weekend.

Miracles and Misgivings

It is truly a miracle...there is presently no evidence of any cancer in my body.

Amazing! Wonderful! A true answer to all the prayers offered up for me.

Such a mood lifter and so many reasons to get myself healthy and stay that way. And yet....

And yet,

I still have small misgivings deep down inside. Will I have recurrance, When? If so will we be able to fight it again like this last time? Will I be able to fight this long enough to raise my son? The Doctor says it will most likely recurr, but she can't really say 100%. She at least gives a little room for hope in miracles, I think she senses our faith and reliance on our Heavenly Father.

I do have these misgivings, however, I do not let them smother me and my days. I am slowly getting back to a routine at the gym, at home, and in my mind. I sometimes forget I have to keep fighting. I like that feeling. I want to enjoy life they way I used to before April 22, 2010.

I'm getting there. All my side effects are gone with the exception of the neuropothy in hands and feet. Food tastes the way it should, (seems like a miracle in itself), I don't feel cold all the time, my stomach isn't rolling due to the chemicals in my body. My muscles are not tired and sore like they used to be, and I don't need a nap every day anymore. Even without a nap I can stay up most nights past 9pm. So, many things are getting back to normal.

I'll take as much normal I can get!!!! Normal comes with miracles and misgivings...I'll take both (more miracles than misgivings), but hey! 

Thank you to ALL of who have prayed for me (us) and kept us in your thoughts/hearts all these months.

Keep it comin'

God Bless each of you forever!